motivation

I want to show people who disappoint me that I'm going to lead a better life than them. So I work myself harder to show them that they were wrong about me. If I eventually succeed, I would be filled with a sense of pride and satisfaction which I'm not sure whether is derived from the fruits of the labour or from the fact tt I have proven a point. I wonder if this is actually a healthy source of motivation or a self destructive vengeful mentality. I need a moral beacon.

"ominous clouds" - cj

i watched my lucid mind being clouded..