tired

When I knocked on his door, I was expecting him to be more supportive on my plans to seize a job opportunity. I naively believed that we share the same belief - the purpose of education is to ultimately prepare the student for work. Though I thought I had a strong case, but there was no room for negotiation. My request to take a 3 months no pay leave was rejected. His argument being that if he approves this, it will set an example for other students to follow. This was despite the fact that I was willing to delay my graduation by 3 months. There was no institutional red tape. The minimum length for studentship will still be fulfilled.

I had lived my life grabbing opportunities with both hands, I was not about to let this opportunity slip away like that. "Opportunities like these will come again."he said. But before I can tell him how much I want to become a quantitative analyst, he made this stand clear. "you should not be looking for work now. you should be concentrating on your research."..."you look for work only when I have decided that you have done enough." Enough for him is 3 journals publications. "Why do some masters student get to graduate without even a single conference paper? I might as well publish 4 and graduate with a PhD." I thought to myself. But right then there was no need for such useless irresponsible statements of comparison. "I cannot allow you to go. I do not believe this internship is best for you." There. He made a decision for me which my parents would not even make. Much that I would like to tell him that my decisions are my responsibility to bear. There is no need to create more bad blood.

I kept quiet and rested my case. There was no point in trying to convince him to see how good an opportunity this would be for me. I hope to graduate as soon as possible. He, on the other hand, hopes that I will stay in research to publish more papers. I am not an academic paper mill.

i should take a rest. take a long holiday.