should i

I have developed a penchant for testing waters. I'm not a born anti institutionalist, but that trait probably developed after I was in France. Big establishments have a need for order, which is why they have so many protocols and rules in place. These rules are part of a intricate woodwork which has been fine tuned over years. They regulate every gears and clogs of the institution. I admit that there is a need for them. However, there is also a need for exceptions. Being part of a big institution, sometimes I felt neglected by it. Their push for internationalism make them blind sighted to their own reckless in their collaboration. Students like us who are caught by this recklessness can either strangle ourselves using their red tapes or we can try to break the rules.

So many times, I find myself testing the system. I am not dissatisfied with where I am. In fact, the current status quo isn't too bad if I compare myself to some of my peers. But research may not be my cup of tea and i am not going to let protocols and rules to limit my potential to explore my options. Let see how much leeway is the institution is going to concede this time. If it does not drown me, then I get to live another day to test more water.

I sent in my applications.