posted

i am going to be a C# .NET platform developer...

and i don't know the language >.<

bored out of my skull

maybe I should have taken your movie offer for tonight instead of postponing it till wed.

can't wait to get out of exam me nation. langkawi?

exams

the first type of exam question is the one where you spend a lot of time thinking, fortifying concepts and applying them to situational problems. the second type of exam question is the one where you regurgitate whatever you have memorized and list out all 7 advantages of something. Yea. my brain is poorly developed to cope with type two exams questions. I stared hard and long at the lecture slides in front of me hoping that even if I cannot remember all 7 ways to repair a network, I can at least leave a visual imprint strong enough to tell me how many points there were on the slides. fruitless. Gone were the days when I was able to nicely fit all of A level biology into my head. Argh. studying for exams is boring. you keep reading the same stuffs over and again.

Photo by Robert Doisneau.
"some people are smart. we are exam smart."-cj

celebrating my last exam. D-5.

the dinner

It started off as a dinner and it subsequently developed into an engaging discussion. I realized that when one is about to test deep water with both feet, one better learn how to swim. Sometimes, I really wonder if I have to mental horsepower to get about doing it. There is so much coding, testing and simulations ahead of me that I do not really want to kick things off. This lead to my inspirational quote of the week:-

"to kill a giant monster, one begins by hacking at its toe."
-cj, april 2010

start with the small things. one stroke at a time. in my case key strokes.

limitations

I am no longer cut out for 2hrs of badminton. These bio engineers are much better than my usual badminton kakis. (yes, referring to all of you industrial engineers, chem engineers, economists, physicists, french and electrical engineers friends haha). It was really great to not have to talk algorithms for a day. Other than character, I can't really figure out why bio engineers I met are friendlier than their computational counterparts. Is it because bio engineers deal with humanly tissues, while we deal with artificial human issues? Sorry i digressed. I was suppose to blog about badminton and my incompetency in the sport, but i guess i shall leave it to another time. As a result of the handy over exertion, the fingers on my right hand are not able to hit the buttons with their usual precision.

excuse my random writing. it's my blog i can write anything anyhow.

bills and insurances

All the bills, closing statements and account balances came in around the same time of the year. A quick calculation using my account balances and my insurances coverage tells me that I am worth more dead than alive. I better work harder to tilt the slant back right.

or i can just reduce my insurance premium..

morning of exam

i am probably the only engineer who do not know where is his calculator. crap.

no need to panic. i got pen and paper to work it out the old hard way.

day before tomorrow

Neural Network exams tomorrow. I shall start studying in a while. Right now, my second book has got me hooked. Its another hero vs assassin thriller by the same author. I shuddered a little at the thought of such last minute studying. Either my priorities have changed or my comprehensive 2 page help sheet has given me a false sense of security. The page was partitioned into 6 walls, it had painstakingly taken me 2 days to handwrite the equations, proofs and explanations onto it. The finesse required to control the scripting of font size 7 words strained both the eyes and the hands (ultimately, the back too; as you have to hunch over to see clearly). Next time I have to do this, I will outsource it to my cousins. win win. They can learn about neural networks and get paid at the same time. Before that, I better read up on Singapore's child labor act.

chicos? trabajos? si si. -> this sounds super wrong

unmotivated

Some days you just do not feel like doing anything. The cool morning did not help either. So i stayed at home and quickly finished the novel i borrowed from the library two and a half weeks ago. I had borrowed a thriller. It was a vague attempt to incite excitement into my life by reliving the role of the hero.

"My life is like a stock counter on a public holiday.. "
- cj, April 2010

It feels good feeding on hero complex once a while as I tracked down one of the world's deadliest assassin. My intelligence analyst Naomi was a bond girl equivalent. I was constantly looking out for hidden blades, a barrel on top of a ridge or the unmarked vehicle. At the end of the book, the hero died after a struggle with assassin. Suddenly, I was left high and dry. how can the author kill off the hero and let the assassin walk? crap.

I should have imagined myself as the assassin instead. tsk..

monotone is sexy

"MONOTONE may be boring, but according to a new study, it's sexier.

The study by US researchers in California and Pennsylvania universities found that men who speak with a steady, monotonous voice had a significantly higher number of sexual partners than those who speak in an expressive tone, reported the Daily Telegraph of London.

Researchers measured the voices of male volunteers in a variety of scenarios, including a simulated dating game, and analysed the results.The change in their vocal pitch, known as fundamental frequency variation, was found to be directly linked to the number of sexual partners they had in the past year.

Emotions such as anxiety and aggression trigger change and variation in vocal frequency. The constant frequency of a monotonous voice, however, shows a man is in control. Hence, monotonous voices are thought to be related to strength, power and confidence, the researchers concluded.

Experts believe that the monotone has now become an indicator of power and independence. They pointed out actors George Clooney and Clint Eastwood as examples of men with monotonous voice but are seen as sexually attractive, said the Telegraph report.

Lead researcher Prof David Puts, from Pennsylvania State University, said: 'The power would be attractive, not the voice as such. It appears that the women are preferring males who are higher in status. It would be the status they would be most interested in.'

Women also found men who used masculine language, such as those who said 'I am bigger and stronger than most men', more attractive, based on ratings in the study of 200 men and women published in the Archives Of Sexual Behaviour journal." read this on ST.

my monotone is not all bad after all. heh.

posting

IB Equities IT. wonder what is my job scope?

kindness

I lost my phone on a taxi and it came back to me; all within a span of a morning. Surprisingly, I was not a bit upset about losing my phone. Probably fully depreciated, the phone's age is clearly showing on the faded key pad. Perhaps that's one of the perks of being poor, the things you have on you are of not much value anyway. It does not pinch so much when they are misplaced. In fact, I had thought that it was a good opportunity to replace/ upgrade my phone. All these are besides the point. I am certainly grateful towards the driver who declined my offer to pay for his lost fare; albeit making a detour for me.

kindness begets kindness. 9041. buy 4D .

bird nest

now i know why its so sought after. It caresses the lips like silk on skin. I let it rolls over the tongue with savory delight. It makes you not want to waste any it. Smooth. Mild.

Is it suppose to taste a little sweet?

immunity

Being stuck in school for 20years now, I have developed a sort of immunity against tests and exams. After this semester, exams are not going to come at the same regularity as before. A quick counts of the academic evaluations brings the tally to around 3 to 4 hundreds. These exams have, slowly, lost their importance over the years. The cumulative points system works to my advantage now as the theory of large numbers sets in. I shall channel this excess time and energy towards community service. Something which I had always wanted to do, but had never gone about to doing.

i shall tackle one thing at a time.

Arrr..senal..gh

There goes our EPL title.

step slippers

When I saw her at the bus stop, she's tall and she looked pretty cool. Fashionably dressed from head to ankle, she decided to leave the house in an mismatching pair of slippers. In the slippers accepting culture of Singapore, most people would have missed this fashion faux pas. But not my Parisian fashion trained eye. Don't be mistaken, it is not that I do not approve of slippers, but I thought footwear should match one's outfit. I was wearing slippers too, but I was in a matching pairs of bermudas and Tee.

When the bus came, she boarded the bus hastily and carelessly. Her slippers slipped off her feet. I guessed slippers got its name from the ease of slipping it on; in this case slipping off. It bounced down the steps, passed me and out of the bus. This is the part where I did an awkward acrobatic bend in an attempt to catch the footwear. It was totally reflex action. It would have been redeeming if I had nailed the catch. But I missed. So i backed out of the bus and picked it up for her. Hastily and carelessly again, she put on the slippers, turned and flicked the slippers out of the bus again. I was staring at her black toe nails, so I didn't managed to react to it; saving myself a second awkward contortionist act. Nice pedicure!

Twice the slippery slippers came off. To prevent a third time, I laid it on the floor for her so that she can stabilize herself and make sure the footwear stay on. Naturally blessed with an active figment of imagination, I thought. Perhaps she's my Cinderella. If she drops the slipper a third time, I tell myself, I will hold the slipper and slip it on for her. It didn't happen. We hurried separately to the middle and back of the bus where no one witnessed..

the morning incident..

news

Two good news came in this week, but its too early to celebrate. Sometimes you do know how much you want something until you realize that you stand a real chance of getting it.

ftw. ftm.

excited

Took a while before my research and my interest finally converged.

ntu

Preparing to leave for NTU to meet my supervisor. Sigh..

it is just too far away from my house.

sagas in news are like seeds in grapes

Local news coverage often do not scale in the same proportion to importance of the incident. My morning news has been plagued by too many sagas. Especially local news which is certainly getting more dramatic these days. First, Ris Low won the pageant, then Jack Neo decides to open up, Wax in the city went burst, then back to Ris Low appearing on 987fm. I spend a good part of my morning filtering out small time news like these, while searching for answers to my questions from other news providers. After the days of protests, why Thaksin hasn't said anything? There should be more objective reporting on Silviu Ionescu. Else the public opinion is going form their opinions through blogs like this. What's the launch results of iPad? Why is there no mention of the Super cool Adobe CS5 which will be launch this weekend? How will recent murder of apartheid proponent affect the coming World Cup in South Africa?

Good thing we have internet.

a pic a day

The last time I wanted to take a shot of the twilight, I had to crawl out of bed at 4am. Here. Thankfully Singapore is pretty small and her transport network is very efficient. I only had to wake up at 450am to take this shot. Lower Seletar at 6am was really tranquil. The sky was pale blue with streaks of pink. It kicked off a exploration into the forested Seletar area, the last kampong, restricted areas and flying hangers. Rustic charm was the phrase of the day.

"pontoons"-cj

Thanks guys. It was fun.

please

do not tag my blog on yours if you do not want be to stumble upon it.

buck stops here.

paradox

sat awake

in the wee hours of the morning. That same wrenching feeling came again. I did what I always do when that same feeling of nostalgia crawls into my skin; I waited. Soon enough the feeling will ebb.

i doubt i can fall asleep again. should just grab my camera to catch the sunrise..

HDR

"To the last known keeper of my tripod, Thou shall bring the tripod back to the safe hands of its rightful owner. As he who owns the tripod has summoned for it in order to take holier-than-thou HDR photos. Please."-cj

I have seen so many pretty HDR photos around. Now, I am going to make my first one! woot! But i need my tripod..

journals

As I formatted and tidied up the graphs and tables of my academic paper, I felt an immense sense of accomplishment. Beneath this self congratulatory mood was actually a tinge sense of loss. The whole idea of research and pursuit of academia got lost in my hurry to graduate. I sort of have discovered a formula to writing papers. Also, the good thing about research in computational fields is that large amount of simulation results can be churned out in a matter of minutes. Does your computer has 8 cores? heh. mine does.

Back to the problem at hand. If my 2 papers were to be accepted for publication, should I try to negotiate for an early release? Knowing my prof, chances are pretty slim. Should I then write a third paper in the mean time? I toyed with that idea for a while.. I am not so sure if I want to work so hard for a Masters. If I were to churn out a third paper, I might as well do a fourth one and graduate with a Ph.d. At this rate, perhaps I could be conferred in 3 years. Not too bad if you look at it, since I win back a year of the 2 which I lost while serving National Service. There are other concerns though. Firstly, this would be a Ph.d conferred by NUS.Secondly, would I want to do research for the rest of my life?

A friend once told me,"If you do not have a heart for it, then don't do it. Academic should be a genuine pursuit for knowledge. You on the other hand plan to go into computational finance and come up with mathematically sound financial models that cannot stand the test of market irrationality."

Much that I would like to tell him that mathematical models are meant to be used as a spring board for improvements. Researchers will not stop at mathematical models. They will continue to extend their theoretical work into a working model, do out of sample testing and etc. But deep down inside I know and feel that..

I should just quickly graduate with my Masters.