guilt

Sitting alone, shrounded in darkness,
Enveloping me, a tinge of sadness.
Having lost sight of the road ahead,
I choose to become numbed instead.

Preparing myself for the inevitable,
whilst coming to terms im no longer invincible.
Stepping away from my pedestral of morality,
I contemplated the purpose of mortality.

Inside me the struggles begin,
As i fought against the 7 deadly sins.
Knowingly, i am losing the battles within.
The scale of justice tilted towards sin.

i lost to the demons within...

Slowly but surely,
I fell from grace.
Deliverance and acceptance,
were all written over my face.

Was i secretly hoping for the dust to settle?
And had i subconsciously contributed to the losing battle?
Did i pick the path of least resistance,
for the sole purpose of substaining my mere existance?

Succumbing to the mandibles of guilt,
I am nothing but a portrait of weariness and filth.
Lost and beaten,
Depressed and forsaken.
how i wish, the demons were never awaken...

-cj
Summer, 2007
Garden City

vsnp

vsnp 10th anniversary dinner. 10 years of friendship. 10 years of camaraderie. 10 years. 10 good years.

the adventure begins...

Paris, 14th July (Fête De Nationale)

Me: “Bonjour, Je m’appelle Chia Jun Yong”
He: “Mister Chia. Welcome to Paris.”

He reached over, took the luggage from my hands and opened the door for me. I was welcomed by my personal driver. The man was twice my age, yet he is use ‘Vous’ instead of ‘Tu’ to address me. I felt ashamed and undeserving of such service from him. I should be the one opening the doors.

“Merci beaucoup Monsieur Vidal”

friday 13th july 2007

Ironically, I found myself feeling extremely happy on this very inauspicious date. Love was all around me.

Thanks to my family - Despite having injured her foot, my mum insisted in sending me off. Thanks to my sister (for her not-so-well-concealed gift), my cousins (who take pride in terrorizing me), my dad (for his great genes which indirectly engineered this farewell), my grandma, my aunts and uncles.

Thanks to Program Comm – you guys nearly succeed in making me cry. Special thanks to Henry. Why is my Ice-Cream buddy significantly missing from the video? aa has nothing to say after how I had positively significantly influenced her life? Why is HJ suddenly so shy? Why is her hair so messy? Did she just wake up or has she been fighting again? Is Youan reading from a script? Why in the toilet? I replayed the video 3 times back to back.

Thanks to ChemEng clique – I so nearly succeeded in making Jac cry tt day. There wasn’t a school day that I don’t see them. There’s Wei Lun who managed to prove my Mum wrong. Mum says, “Playing computer games won’t earn you any money one.” She’s so wrong. Kelvin (who manages to take everything so easily), Micheal (who analyzes all the nonsense that I feed to Jac), Jac (who wholeheartedly believes all my nonsense). Dear Jac, please remember USA is in North America.

Thanks to Chelvam and Wei Jing. Seems like, this time, you guys won’t be around to cover for me anymore. Regardless of whether it’s on the parade square, in VS, in VJ, in NUS, on Kolam Ayer street soccer court, on the hockey pitch or in HSS Libary, you guys are unfailingly supportive. Three words explain it all – We are Victorians.

Thanks to Zhan Yuin. If not for the fact that I am a little crazy about you, I would long have been driven crazy by you. Did you buy a chipmunk because it kinda looks like you? cos you never struck me as one who will play with soft toys. Let us hope that I won’t end up talking to the chipmunk. I’ll make it a point to make more friends.

Thanks to LeeChing and TiongChuan. Lee Ching you won the quotable quote of the week with your “JunYong, I will miss you!” Tiong Chuan , I know that you said the same thing. Too bad you are not a girl else you would have won the best quote too. I would always remember the playgrounds where we shared so many stories. Please get this into the cute head of yours - Vitagen is NOT an after-run drink.

Thanks to those who weren’t there either.

I’ll be back.

national stadium

The National Stadium always causes something to stir inside me. The grandeur always never fails to impress me. Every time I step into the stadium I can hear the National anthem and the Victorian Cheers. ...thy sons are we…

This post is long overdue. Hopefully, someone can give me pointers on how to take better pictures.

multi-facet people

this week seems to be dreadfully hard to get by.

mon, tues and thurs, i have to put up with twl during engin rag.
friday, rendevous with aa for some things that are not so convenient to tell anyone just as yet, cos aa strongly believes that not all things white are nice.
sat and sun - overnight majong and piggy will be there too.

i love wednesday.

p.s. if you totally missed the humour or cannot make sense of what was written. im not apologising cos it just means it's not mean for you. dun even try to ask me to decode for you.

timepiece

thanks weilun, kelvin, micheal, jac & tianqi.

appreciate u all.