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Sunday, August 14, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
in the hood
Walking around with a camera is therapeutic. I was just roaming around the neighborhood aimlessly thinking, feeling; when I saw a stray white balloon. It had descended from high above the sky and was floating around at eye level. Maybe it was a stray balloon from New Year's Eve. I'm not sure if it's cool to spend a good part of my late afternoon chasing/ stalking balloons before I went to catch a movie dinner. But I appointed myself as the balloon's unofficial biographer anyway, watching it float up stairs, under void decks and flirt with the pull up bars. The random walk felt like Brownian motion and (hahaha God forbid) totally possible for me to model it using the continuous time stochastic Wiener process. By 7pm, I had to leave and the balloon had foolishly floated on to the Malaysian railway tracks. So I gathered my equipment and here is one of my random pictures.
"walking out of expanding universe."-cj
random post on post new year day.
"walking out of expanding universe."-cjrandom post on post new year day.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
on my way out
If I were Christopher from the book "The Curious Incident of the Dog in Night Time", then today would have been my unlucky day. Three yellow cars parked side by side.
"yellow"-cj
If I ever own a car this yellow, then it can only be a Lamborghini.
"yellow"-cjmoments
To think the fireworks went off right after I turned my back after receiving a new year wish. It was almost a cinematic moment. A few things were on my mind then, among them were a confirmation and a resolution. But you guys are not entitled to them. what a way to begin a new year..
happy new year nonetheless.
happy new year nonetheless.
Friday, December 31, 2010
forking etiquette
I was reading Scott Adams Blog when I realized that fine dining eludes a lot of my peers. I find myself correcting people when they hold the fork with their right hand. It is hard not to notice when they sit across you and they mirror you. I have Ms T. Ng to thank for the fine dining classes during Home Economics lessons in VS. (Yes I did Home Economics, but I will talk about that another time. It's an animal of a subject in itself. Imagine me with a sewing machine.)
quote
My wife and I were eating lunch during our holiday vacation, and she asked me, in a suspiciously casual tone of voice, if I were aware of the proper etiquette for using a fork. I responded with a blank stare, which was my way of saying that her yammering was distracting me from shoveling a respectable percentage of the resort's entire buffet from my plate into my maw.
Undaunted, Shelly went on to demonstrate her point, holding a knife in her right hand, and a fork in her left hand with the tines pointed inexplicably downward. Her index finger was on the back of each utensil, and she explained that you should continue holding the knife even while you're not sawing on a dead animal.
Against all odds, Shelly's words penetrated the fog of my feeding frenzy. As her explanation sunk in, I started to go into traumatic etiquette shock. That's the feeling you get when you realize that for several decades people have watched you eat and probably compared you unfavorably to a stoned raccoon on garbage day.
The world started moving in slow motion as I looked around the dining room to verify this stunning revelation. Sure enough, every adult diner was using the method Shelly described. How could I have gone my entire life without noticing? I was shocked and ashamed.
I quickly tried to imitate the proper forking method. That turned out to be problematic because I'm a vegetarian. I didn't have anything on my plate that needed cutting, and the upside down fork method was a disaster for eating rice. I could only balance a few grains at a time on the back of my fork, and half of those ended up on my lap, where I have been told a napkin should have been.
I knew there was something missing in Shelly's explanation of proper fork use, but she wasn't giving me any more clues. The other diners all seemed to be eating meat; they were no help. I briefly considered a catapult solution, which would have involved pushing some rice onto the back of the fork, glancing furtively around the room to make sure no one was looking, and launching the payload toward my face. That probably sounds stupid to you, but keep in mind that I had already bought into the notion of using a fork upside down. I couldn't rule out anything.
I was determined to fork properly from this moment on, and not add to a lifetime of humiliation. It took me an hour to finish my rice, averaging three grains per fork. The buffet had soup, but I couldn't imagine how long it would take to consume it with my spoon turned upside down, or backwards, or using just the edge; Shelly hadn't covered spoon etiquette, so I was mostly guessing.
By the end of the meal I was still wondering if this whole episode had been an elaborate practical joke, with everyone else in on it. I pulled out my iPhone and Googled "fork etiquette." A dried branch of a lady with an upper class accent appeared on video demonstrating the technique Shelly had described. My mortification was complete.
In my defense, I grew up in a small town, in a farming environment. We valued efficiency over ritual. Inefficiency was synonymous with stupidity. If there had been a way to eat faster by somehow involving your ass cheeks, that's how I would have learned to do it. If someone sneezed where I grew up, there was no reason to say "God Bless you," because either God was already handling it or he didn't exist. God didn't need a middle man to handle a simple sneezing transaction.
Anyway, back to my story, I was horrified and humiliated by my lack of forking knowledge. I started to panic, wondering what other rules of etiquette had somehow escaped my notice. Was I supposed to open doors using nothing but my elbows? Should I dial my phone with a single knuckle? Should I salute anyone wearing a hat and ask, "How's the war going, Captain?" My point is that there's no way to deduce etiquette from logic.
Recently I did more research and discovered that Shelly's forking technique is called the Continental method. It's the method used in Europe as well as anywhere else that the British have killed the locals. I also learned that you're allowed to turn your fork right-side-up for scooping anything can't be stabbed. Fair enough.
Best of all, there is an American forking method too, and that is what I had always used. That involves holding the fork in your right hand, like a pen, with the tines pointing up. But I have been informed that cutting food with the edge of my fork is bad form, no matter how efficient it is. Bah! I reject that tyranny.
Last night at a local restaurant I observed a boy, about ten years old, at a nearby table who took the principle of dining efficiency to such a high level that I wept tears of admiration. The restaurant provided a fork and spoon rolled up in a paper napkin. They expect you to break the paper seal and free the utensils from the napkin. But the boy realized he could use the entire sealed unit as a fork-spoon with a napkin surround. He would grab the entire bundle, stab some food with the fork and wipe his mouth on the wrapped bundle. I don't use the "genius" label too often, but I think it applies in this case, even though he was just kidding around. I believe I witnessed the invention of the napkinforkspoon. And someday, God willing, when efficiency replaces etiquette, we will all be using it.
unquote
haha fork it. kopitiam have no rules.
quote
My wife and I were eating lunch during our holiday vacation, and she asked me, in a suspiciously casual tone of voice, if I were aware of the proper etiquette for using a fork. I responded with a blank stare, which was my way of saying that her yammering was distracting me from shoveling a respectable percentage of the resort's entire buffet from my plate into my maw.
Undaunted, Shelly went on to demonstrate her point, holding a knife in her right hand, and a fork in her left hand with the tines pointed inexplicably downward. Her index finger was on the back of each utensil, and she explained that you should continue holding the knife even while you're not sawing on a dead animal.
Against all odds, Shelly's words penetrated the fog of my feeding frenzy. As her explanation sunk in, I started to go into traumatic etiquette shock. That's the feeling you get when you realize that for several decades people have watched you eat and probably compared you unfavorably to a stoned raccoon on garbage day.
The world started moving in slow motion as I looked around the dining room to verify this stunning revelation. Sure enough, every adult diner was using the method Shelly described. How could I have gone my entire life without noticing? I was shocked and ashamed.
I quickly tried to imitate the proper forking method. That turned out to be problematic because I'm a vegetarian. I didn't have anything on my plate that needed cutting, and the upside down fork method was a disaster for eating rice. I could only balance a few grains at a time on the back of my fork, and half of those ended up on my lap, where I have been told a napkin should have been.
I knew there was something missing in Shelly's explanation of proper fork use, but she wasn't giving me any more clues. The other diners all seemed to be eating meat; they were no help. I briefly considered a catapult solution, which would have involved pushing some rice onto the back of the fork, glancing furtively around the room to make sure no one was looking, and launching the payload toward my face. That probably sounds stupid to you, but keep in mind that I had already bought into the notion of using a fork upside down. I couldn't rule out anything.
I was determined to fork properly from this moment on, and not add to a lifetime of humiliation. It took me an hour to finish my rice, averaging three grains per fork. The buffet had soup, but I couldn't imagine how long it would take to consume it with my spoon turned upside down, or backwards, or using just the edge; Shelly hadn't covered spoon etiquette, so I was mostly guessing.
By the end of the meal I was still wondering if this whole episode had been an elaborate practical joke, with everyone else in on it. I pulled out my iPhone and Googled "fork etiquette." A dried branch of a lady with an upper class accent appeared on video demonstrating the technique Shelly had described. My mortification was complete.
In my defense, I grew up in a small town, in a farming environment. We valued efficiency over ritual. Inefficiency was synonymous with stupidity. If there had been a way to eat faster by somehow involving your ass cheeks, that's how I would have learned to do it. If someone sneezed where I grew up, there was no reason to say "God Bless you," because either God was already handling it or he didn't exist. God didn't need a middle man to handle a simple sneezing transaction.
Anyway, back to my story, I was horrified and humiliated by my lack of forking knowledge. I started to panic, wondering what other rules of etiquette had somehow escaped my notice. Was I supposed to open doors using nothing but my elbows? Should I dial my phone with a single knuckle? Should I salute anyone wearing a hat and ask, "How's the war going, Captain?" My point is that there's no way to deduce etiquette from logic.
Recently I did more research and discovered that Shelly's forking technique is called the Continental method. It's the method used in Europe as well as anywhere else that the British have killed the locals. I also learned that you're allowed to turn your fork right-side-up for scooping anything can't be stabbed. Fair enough.
Best of all, there is an American forking method too, and that is what I had always used. That involves holding the fork in your right hand, like a pen, with the tines pointing up. But I have been informed that cutting food with the edge of my fork is bad form, no matter how efficient it is. Bah! I reject that tyranny.
Last night at a local restaurant I observed a boy, about ten years old, at a nearby table who took the principle of dining efficiency to such a high level that I wept tears of admiration. The restaurant provided a fork and spoon rolled up in a paper napkin. They expect you to break the paper seal and free the utensils from the napkin. But the boy realized he could use the entire sealed unit as a fork-spoon with a napkin surround. He would grab the entire bundle, stab some food with the fork and wipe his mouth on the wrapped bundle. I don't use the "genius" label too often, but I think it applies in this case, even though he was just kidding around. I believe I witnessed the invention of the napkinforkspoon. And someday, God willing, when efficiency replaces etiquette, we will all be using it.
unquote
haha fork it. kopitiam have no rules.
AAR
Here is a recap of my 2010 resolutions.
1) Get employed by the end of the year and be able to say I love my job. (I have an offer at hand and I love the company) Done!
2) Be back home for dinner with my parents more often. (Well since my research can be done from home, I am at home most of the time this year.) Done!
3) Show more concern towards those that mattered. Revive a good friendship that I once had and still cherish a lot. (Well won't talk about this) Done!
4) Run Standchart marathon; all 42.125km of it under 5 1/2hours. (Even though I had a valid reason. I had Level 1 exams that day. Ultimately, the point is I wanted to start running again and I did not train for it at all.) Fail!
5) Graduate. (Well I have cleared most of the requirements. I'm deciding when I want to graduate.) Done!
well at least I got most of them down.
1) Get employed by the end of the year and be able to say I love my job. (I have an offer at hand and I love the company) Done!
2) Be back home for dinner with my parents more often. (Well since my research can be done from home, I am at home most of the time this year.) Done!
3) Show more concern towards those that mattered. Revive a good friendship that I once had and still cherish a lot. (Well won't talk about this) Done!
4) Run Standchart marathon; all 42.125km of it under 5 1/2hours. (Even though I had a valid reason. I had Level 1 exams that day. Ultimately, the point is I wanted to start running again and I did not train for it at all.) Fail!
5) Graduate. (Well I have cleared most of the requirements. I'm deciding when I want to graduate.) Done!
well at least I got most of them down.
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